Episode 83: The Invisible Load: Why Pushing Harder Isn't Working with Karin Del Maestro
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After years of loss, caregiving, divorce, and breast cancer, Karin Del Maestro discovered that knowing how to take care of herself wasn't the same as having the capacity to do it. In this conversation, she shares the invisible backpack metaphor, her CALM method for identifying the responsibilities and patterns weighing us down, and why trying harder can sometimes keep us stuck. Kathy and Karin also explore Type C behavior patterns, the difference between caring and carrying, and how rebuilding your life starts with recognizing that your needs matter, too.
In this episode, Kathy and Karin discusses:
people pleasing
nervous system regulation
emotional burnout
breast cancer recovery
healthy boundaries
self worth
Timestamps:
00:00:41 Meet Karin Del Maestro
00:03:22 The good girl identity
00:05:08 Divorce and self-discovery
00:07:37 When life gets lifey
00:08:44 Feeling stuck after cancer
00:11:50 Worthiness and productivity
00:12:55 Trauma and the parking brake
00:18:03 Rebuilding after life changes
00:23:22 Reclaiming personal agency
00:28:09 Learning to recognize feelings
00:29:48 Core values and community
00:34:41 Creating space for your needs
00:36:14 Listening to your body
00:39:43 The invisible emotional load
00:41:13 The CALM method
00:42:54 Mental loops and the inner critic
00:45:24 Safely putting down the bricks
00:48:01 The invisible bookcase
00:51:07 Self-worth and generational patterns
00:57:26 The teapot and healthy boundaries
00:59:49 Reclaiming your true self
Connect with Karin Del Maestro
Explore Karin Del Maestro's kajabi.com/website
Connect with Karin Del Maestro on LinkedIn
Follow @karindelmaestro on Instagram
I’m Karin Del Maestro, a health and transformational coach, breast cancer thriver and the founder of Thrivership School™.
For more than 23 years, I’ve helped people care for their health, but my own breast cancer and BRCA2 diagnosis I changed the direction and depth of that work.
Today, I support women after breast cancer who have returned to work and resumed caring for everyone around them, yet behind closed doors still feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and unlike themselves. They often know what they need, but after a lifetime of putting other people first, investing time, energy, care, or money in themselves can feel uncomfortable, selfish, or impossible.
My work is rooted in a simple belief: women aren’t doing recovery wrong. They’ve been taught to recover in the wrong order. Before asking the body to work harder, we need to create safety, rebuild self-trust, and make room for choice.
I’m especially interested in the invisible load women carry, the relationship between caregiving and identity, and what becomes possible when a woman stops measuring her worth by how much she does for everyone else.
Originally from the UK, I now live near Seattle with my husband. Outside of my work, I enjoy long walks, meaningful conversations, and, unsurprisingly, a good cup of tea.
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