Life Coach vs. Therapist: Which is Right for You?
Whatever brought you here today, I want you to know it is normal to feel lost and stuck from time to time. The past few years have been challenging ones. And even in more “normal” times, we all occasionally fall out of alignment.
So, today you are seeking but aren’t sure which one is for you. And you know that life coaches and therapists are available. Both of these professionals are helpful, positive resources, but they have very different approaches and focus on different things.
In this article, we demystify both life coaches and therapists.
Life Coach vs. Therapist in a Nutshell
In a nutshell, what is the difference between a life coach and a therapist?
Life coaches are solution-focused and use a non-directive approach. By listening, asking questions, and reflecting back, life coaches support clients in taking a proactive role in their lives and begin setting and working toward goals.
With a life coach, the emphasis is on the present and future using a personal strength-based, solution focus.
On the other hand, therapists are problem-focused and use a directive approach that includes listening, often followed by advising, sharing opinions, and offering solutions.
Therapists place more emphasis on the past as they help you understand and work through emotions, trauma, or other issues impacting your ability to cope and live fully in the present.
Defining Life Coaching and Therapy
Life Coaching
Life coaching is a professional service that helps people set and reach their desired objectives. A life coach will work with you to identify areas of your life where you want to make changes and provide guidance and support to help you achieve your goals.
Areas of life coaching include relationships, career, finances, and personal growth, among others. Some life coaches specialize in one area while some take a broader, more holistic approach.
One of my favorite definitions of coaching comes from the International Coaching Federation. On their website, they state that coaching is “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Therapy
Therapy, also known as psychological counseling or talk therapy, is a way to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a trained professional. Therapists are mental health professionals and can be helpful in managing a wide range of mental health issues.
The goal of therapy is to help you understand and work through your emotions and to develop coping strategies to manage your mental health and improve your overall well-being. Therapy sessions with a licensed professional can address mental illness, past traumas, past hurts, deep rooted issues, and other mental health concerns.
Betterhelp, an online therapy platform defines a therapist as “someone who works with patients in therapy to help them overcome various issues.” Therapy is designed to help with some specific mental health problems, including:
eating disorders
addiction problems
anger issues
relationship problems
Above all else, therapy is about exploring mental health challenges and providing the right mental health treatment for the patient. This is one of the reasons why people sometimes assume therapy is only valuable in times of crisis. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Anyone can use therapy.
Over the past twenty years, technology and science have allowed the expansion of psychology into a field called positive psychology. The Well-Being Institute at UC Berkeley states, “positive psychology is more than just ‘positive thinking’. It is a broad area of psychological practice and research that aims to identify and nourish human strengths and positive experiences.”
Like therapists, positive psychology practitioners put science to work for the people who need it the most through proven assessments, resources, and feedback models. Many of these practitioners are life coaches.
Life Coaching
To understand coaching, it is helpful to visually think of well-being on a continuum with the mid-point of zero (0) representing normal functioning.
To the left, we have negative numbers that represent barriers to our ability to adapt to our current environment. These barriers include unpleasant or unprocessed difficult emotions, unhelpful thinking styles, and dysfunctional behavior. Therapy addresses these barriers.
Coaching, however, takes fully functional clients to the right side of our mental health continuum to experience a sense of flourishing. Dr. Martin Selignman, described as the father of the positive psychology movement, identifies five endeavors that are crucial to human flourishing:
Positive emotions
engagement
good relationships
meaning and purpose in life
accomplishment.
These are cumulatively called the PERMA model. Life coaches, specifically positive psychology life coaches, use interventions that are grounded in positive psychological science to help clients flourish.
Because we move on the continuum based on our experiences, many people are functioning in life. Still, inside they may not feel highly functional or able to achieve their full potential.
In fact, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation, about 40 percent of U.S. adults reported symptoms of anxiety or depression during the pandemic, which is 30 percent more than pre-pandemic. Forty percent of U.S. adults who may be functioning and could use professional help.
This area is the subject of some interesting research pointing to a need for a more sustainable model of mental health that integrates well-being into psychological treatment. This creates the possibility of the coach versus therapist conundrum becoming a both/and in helping individuals to function and fully flourish.
Life Coach and Therapist Characteristics
To fully understand the difference between a life coach and a therapist, it’s critical to look at the defining characteristics of each profession.
A Life Coach…
Is an expert companion that inclines clients to achieve the next level of growth, advancement, or change in both their personal and professional lives.
Helps clients take a proactive role in their lives by setting and working toward goals and building confidence and self-efficacy by doing.
Can be a generalist but also may be more specified depending on their education and life experience.
Empowers individuals and establishes accountability for personal and professional success.
Invokes a respectful mixture of active listening, inquiry, reflection, and experimentation to help clients experience understanding their current situation and create opportunities for change.
Creates an environment of trust and honesty allowing for a level of discomfort as clients are challenged to move away from their comfort zones and into new territory.
Expects you to do the work both in and outside of the sessions as it is in the action of doing that change takes hold. Taking full responsibility for your actions and your life means you create your own decisions and results.
Will set healthy boundaries for the relationship including clear communication, respect for time, confidentiality, and trust.
“Life coaching is more than a watered-down version of therapy. It is a dynamic discipline designed to help inspire people to achieve more than they believe is possible.” Tony Robbins
A Therapist…
Is a professional trained to provide treatment and help patients overcome debilitating issues.
Can perform psychological testing and diagnose illnesses and pathologies so their patients can be clinically treated.
Adheres to a strict code of ethics. According to Counseling Today, “a considerable amount of emotional intimacy can be involved, which makes the professional relationship similar to a friendship. A crucial difference is that the intimacy is reciprocal in a friendship, whereas in a counseling relationship, the focus is always on the client.”
Sets clear therapeutic boundaries that create safety and protection for the patient as they learn what to expect from the therapist in each session. The therapist’s role is to clearly explain what is happening and why, while keeping the client informed throughout the development of treatment.
Focuses on how previous experiences have impacted you in the here and now while looking into emotional resolutions to past problems to be able to move forward.
Helps patients develop healthy coping mechanisms, improve communication and interpersonal skills.
Works with patients to help them become mindful of their emotions, and teach them how to identify and diffuse them, so they do not get too intense or overwhelming.
Is skilled in helping you find ways to healthily emote and connect with others in a meaningful way while respecting your own boundaries and the emotions of others.
“Therapy is effective for helping painful experiences become tolerable. It’s a proven method for changing harmful thinking, relational, and behavioral patterns. But it’s also used to make good lives great.” — Psychology Today
“We can't have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same. There's no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn't be ranked, because pain is not a contest. Between stimulus and response there is a space.” Therapist Lori Gottleib in her book Maybe You Should Talk To Someone.
The Benefits of Life Coaching
There are endless benefits to life coaching. I could gather and share them, but the inspiring team at positivepsychology.com have succinctly come up with a brilliant list. Their top seven benefits associated with life coaching include:
Improvement in desired performance and goals
Increased openness to personal development
Developed ability to identify positive solutions
A greater sense of ownership over self
Improved self-awareness of strengths and weaknesses
Improvement in a specific area of life or set of behaviors
Greater clarity about desired goals and objectives
Gable & Haidt, in their 2005 article “What (and Why” is Positive Psychology?”, state, “Positive psychology coaching (PPC) is the study of conditions and processes that contribute to the flourishing, wellbeing or optimal functioning of people, groups, and institutions.”
The Benefits of Therapy
Therapy also has many benefits, both obvious and non-obvious. The team at Talkspace offers a list of their top 9 most rewarding benefits of therapy:
Improved communication skills
Better conflict resolution skills
Treatment of mental health conditions
Better collaboration with your family
Increased coping skills and strategies
Increased ability to find healthy, positive support
Change of negative emotions and thought patterns
Change of negative behaviors
Better productivity at work
Psychologist Rob Winkler suggests, “better coping leads to better responses and better responses lead to better experiences, which create more opportunity and prosperity in all aspects of our lives.”
Myths about Life Coaching and Therapy
It is important to debunk some common myths about life coaching and therapy that could both cause confusion and become a barrier to you getting the help you need.
Myths About Life Coaches
Myth #1: Coaches lack professional standards
Life coaching is an unregulated profession. But just because coaches are not required does not mean life coaches don’t opt to get education, training, certifications or uphold ethical standards in how they practice.
There are certification authorities such as the International Coaching Federation(ICF) and the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE) that require coaches to complete education and training requirements and uphold ethical and professional standards.
Additionally coaches often come with professional and lived experiences that qualify them in their choice of focus.
Myth #2 Coaching is for people who are stuck, not for successful people
Coaching works best for people who feel motivated to change in certain areas of performance or behavior. According to the Hay Group, an international human resource consultancy, approximately 25-40% of Fortune 500 companies use executive coaches. Coaching is often used to support good performers who are facing difficult challenges.
Myth #3: Coaching is present- and future-focused only
Coaches often invite individuals to understand how they became is influencing their current being and what needs to change to become the truer version of who they wish to be.
Myths about Therapists
Myth #1: Therapists only focus on the past
Although it is true that working with a therapist often involves delving into your past in order to make sense and heal from it, they do not stop there. They also help people reconnect to the present and plan for the future.
Myth #2 Therapists only deal with people who have mental health conditions but don’t help healthy people set goals
Therapists help individuals gain further insight into how past experiences have impacted them in the here and now. Exploring emotional resolutions to past problems helps one move forward and find new areas of growth and purpose. They can work with individuals on issues considered either clinical and/or non-clinical.
Myth #3 The mental health focus is tied to an insurance reimbursement process that requires a diagnosis
The real issue here in the United States is that if you do not have a mental health condition, then therapists are not able to bill your health insurance. This is one reason why many therapists choose not to take insurance.
Common Questions About Life Coaches and Therapists
I have been asked hundreds of questions around the topic of life coach or therapist. Here are some of the questions and the answers in hopes that you know you are not alone in your search for finding the help you need.
Question 1: Why do people choose a life coach over a therapist?
Choosing a life coach over a therapist is obvious when there is a specific area of change one is seeking. Coaches offer relevant professional expertise, education, and accumulated life experience that gives them empathy and insight into those on a similar path.
For example, if your goal is to start a side hustle, life coaches who describe themselves as business coaches might have an MBA and built successful businesses of their own. Perhaps you have a goal to lower the perfection bar and improve relationships and find more joy in life. Life coaches who describe themselves as positive life coaches might have education in evidence-based positive psychology and lived experiences where they transformed from perfection to joy and meaning. Hmmm, this sounds very familiar.
Question #2: When is the time to see a life coach?
The best time to see a life coach is when your intuition tells you to, evidenced by your curiosity. A google search of “what is the difference between a life coach and therapist” is a sure sign you desire to change. Coaches focus on your life goals and self improvement, and they can help you achieve personal goals. So, whenever you are ready to make a change is the best time to see a life coach.
Question #3: Where do people find a life coach?
There are many ways to find a life coach. Ask your social network. You know that a referral from a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance is a recommendation from a trusted source. Do a local search using resources such as Yelp which allows you to read reviews. There are also different coaching directories like BetterUp and Noomii that use algorithms to help match you to the right person. Many life coaches also advertise their coaching services on social media.
When looking for a life coach, the most important element is fit. The greatest personal connection often fosters the greatest motivation toward success. There should be the opportunity for a free consultation during which you look for the style, approach, and training of the provider.
Question #4: How often and for how long should you see a life coach?
Life coaching relationships are considered short-term compared to therapy relationships. They can be situational, transition-focused, or long-term growth-oriented. With life coaching, you will identify obstacles, make definite plans to overcome them, and then move on. Life coaching sessions typically last an hour.
For example, suppose that a client is looking to change their career and enter into a relationship with a career coach. Once that transition is completed, there is no longer a need for a coaching relationship—unless of course there is a new goal that presents itself.
Within the timeframe, there is a need for consistency and commitment to change. Starting with weekly appointments for the first month moving to every other week is a schedule that supports sustainable change. This allows clients to strengthen new ways of being in the safety of the coaching relationship and begin to be that change in their environment outside of the relationship. The continuity of meetings invites awareness as well as structure and support to facilitate progress, and growth and build resources to make the change sticky.
Question #5: Why do people choose a therapist over a life coach?
When the concerns are around mental health and emotional healing, a therapist can help patients alleviate pain, or distress related to trauma, disorders, or illness. Therapists focus on on your mental health concern and can provide you with mental health treatment.
Question #6: When is the time to see a therapist?
We all have days when we feel anxious or sad. If that mood is getting in the way of coping with life or your ability to be productive, it may be a sign to talk with someone. A licensed professional can provide mental health treatment, which may be what you need.
Question #7: where do people find a therapist?
Often therapists are referred to by other health practitioners or your personal network. Health insurance companies offer a list of providers that can then be cross-referenced using online resources such as Psychology Today, BetterHelp, and TalkSpace to learn more about the practitioners.
Question #8: How often and for how long should you see a therapist?
Therapy is often a longer-term commitment. For some individuals, this could be years or a lifetime. You will start with an initial session to get to know your therapist and establish goals. Subsequent sessions will dive into your mental health care. There is a major difference between regular commitment lengths between life coaches and therapists.
How to Find a Life Coach or Therapist
Congratulations! After reading this article, you’ve just accomplished the first step in your desire for personal growth—understanding the difference between a life coach and a therapist. Your next steps are:
Step #2: Reflect on your response to this article and decide if you are searching for a life coach or a therapist.
Step #3: Reach out for referrals from known sources or use an online service to research options. Come up with 3-5 providers that interest you.
Step #4: Make an appointment for a consultation with at least two on your list.
I know these steps can feel daunting. Remember, you are not alone and you, my friend, are worth investing in. You matter, and the world needs you. I wish you well.
If you would like to schedule a free consultation with me to see if life coaching is for you, click here.